I couldn’t figure out why I kept shuddering while watching this video, but then I realized it’s because Rebecca Black’s cover of Miley Cyrus’ summer anthem “We Can’t Stop” is so anesthetized that it’s actually super creepy. Even creepier than Miley’s official video for the song, which shows us fingers being chopped off to reveal Pepto Bismol blood and elaborate skull sculptures crafted from French fries, I think?
Rebecca duets on the song with with a young man named Jon D who has shaggy hair and a set of teeth the most wholesome shade of milk. Questionable lyrics like, “To my homegirls here with the big butts/Shakin’ it like we at a strip club” have become, “To my homegirls here, living it up/Feeling alive and are in love.” And the darn kids won’t stop smiling.
I can’t tell if this feels more like a Proactiv ad or a commercial for a religious-themed teen dating site. Maybe it’s a recruitment ad for an ARK Music Factory cult?